During a Rock City Guitar Clinic Q&A, Steel Panther guitarist remembered the time Jessica Simpson joined the band onstage in “a little messed up” condition.
This happened before 2007 when the group still went by the name of Metal Skool and had no studio albums under their belt.
Satchel reached the subject when asked to single out the “best party you ever went to.” He replied:
“That’s a really tough question because I go to parties for a living basically. I don’t know if you realize, I sell cocaine on the side, so…
“God, you know, every fuckin’ night at Steel Panther is a party, it’s pretty crazy. There’s stuff that happens on stage, I’m sure you guys… If you’ve ever YouTubed Steel Panther shows, there’s stuff that happens on our stage that I can’t even get to happen in the bedroom sometimes. It’s crazy.
“I mean, we’ve had naked girls having sex on our stage. And security just goes ‘Yeah, cool!’ It’s like, ‘Holy shit!’ It’s fun, but you know, my whole life’s a party.
“We’ve had people come up on stage and jam and I’ve never thought it would happen. We had Steven Tyler at our show one time. And I started playing… *plays ‘Walk This Way’*
“I just said, ‘Dude, I’m not gonna stop playing this riff ’till you get on stage.’ And he jumped, he was like a little kid. He was like, ‘Yes!’ Grabbed a mic and started singing. He sang – it was so good.
“Things like that occasionally happen and it’s super-awesome. We had a… What’s that girl’s name? Jessica Simpson. She came on stage one time. And she was like… She couldn’t sing because she was a little messed up. I looked at her and I swear I went up to her, I was playing guitar, and she was cross-eyed. And I was like, ‘This is not sexy at all.'”
During the rest of the conversation, Satchel shared another peculiar story, saying:
“I have a great story. We did a fuckin’ festival in Maryland with Don Dokken. And I went to the… When you’re at a festival, everybody eats at the same cafeteria or a place. I saw Michael Starr just stuffing his face.
“And I was like, ‘Hey, here’s Michael. He’s eating next to some homeless guy.’ The guy had fucking food in his beard and shit. And I was like, ‘Fuck. I just guess I’ll sit with Michael.’
“I sat down and I realized the homeless guy was Don Dokken. It was like… *incoherent eating noises* Fuckin’ awesome. I was like, ‘Fuck, that’s me in like 35 years. I’m going to be Don Dokken.’
“And guess what – we’re all gonna be Don Dokken at some point. So… That’s right. Go buy a gun now.”
The guitarist also shared a few words of advice for all the guitar players out there, saying:
“If you want to learn and play guitar, you’ve got all this shit at your disposal. YouTube is awesome for that, obviously. There’s a bunch of people on there, they give lessons and stuff. It’s a lot easier to learn how to play guitar at this point.
“But if you’re a musician, you also have to… I think it’s good to be creative. I think that’s where a lot of people get off. And when you pick up a guitar, it’s cool to learn other people’s stuff but it’s also really satisfying to learn how to write songs and learn how to write riffs.
“And I’d strongly encourage you to be creative and try to be original. Because it’s a fun thing to do. And you never know, maybe someday you’ll be able to wear spandex. I don’t know.”