David Lee Roth has bizarrely accused Sammy Hagar of spewing out constant “diarrhea vitriol”.
In a video posted to YouTube titled “The Ballad Of Popsicle Sam”, Roth referenced Hagar‘s belief that a pair of aliens tapped into his mind through some kind of Wi-Fi connection, saying in part about the fellow former VAN HALEN singer: “According to Sam, he was abducted by aliens.
“I know [that] when you’re abducted by aliens, you get sex probed,” Roth continued.
“I am compelled to solicit this sordid subject in an effort to explain Sam Hagar‘s conduct. For the last 10 summers, I haven’t said a single syllable about him. Not one. I defy you. And in the face of a constant fart gas aimed in our direction here at the Mojo Dojo Diamond Dave Laboratories. And I think we’ve arrived at both the technical and the medical answer that may explain some of Sammy Hagar‘s conduct and his constant spew of diarrhea vitriol in our direction. Sammy Hagar was abducted by aliens and he was sex probed. Sex probed.”
Roth went on admit that he had “no idea” about what “an alien sex probing procedure” might entail.
“Does it require apparatus? Is it a beam? We don’t know. We may never know,” he said. “But what I do know with absolute accuracy is that if you take a half of a popsicle and you jam it into a cassette tape player, no matter how carefully you extract it, that tape player will never play the same again, no matter how carefully you try and fix those delicate little parts. And it’ll get worse and it’ll seem like the singer that you used to [be] will stop making sense whatsoever. A lot like Sam.”