70000 Tons of Metal. The legendary metal voyage that has beckoned metalheads to set sail since 2011. This was finally the year the stars aligned, and I was able to attend. and I have to say, it blew me out of the water. 

The imagery of the massive boat set to depart was awe-inspiring. It brought forth the sentiment of tall pirate tales, vicious Viking legends, and epic warships of eras past; essentially all of the ‘Nautical Metal Themes’ you can think of are running through your head as you approach the gargantuan boat. Even from the docks, you can feel the community and camaraderie of the fans, each more excited than the last to get aboard, grab their beverage of preference, and start headbanging and moshing!

… Unfortunately for the eager lot of us, the music on the first day starts at 17:00. But still, as a first-time cruise attendee in general, this was a great time to find my bearings on the ship. And holy f*ck was there ever a lot to take in. The differing levels, the venues, the bars, the food spots (including the infamous Sorrento’s Pizza). Then there’s the expansive casino, the ample arcade, the climbing wall, sports courts, water slides, the FlowRider, The view from the top of the vessel. There is absolutely no shortage of exploration to be had.

But none of that compares to the first bands hitting the stages. The boat has long since left the dock, the festival-goers are bursting with anticipation, and the first chords are struck. 

It Begins. 

The more intimate stages fill with metal and the festivities officially begin. “F*ck yeah” the passengers collectively cheer with their devil horns pointed towards the sky. The first night is twenty-three bands play between three stages until the night concludes. Well, more accurately it’s until the morning begins; the metal doesn’t stop until 6:00 AM.

From then on the festival starts up around 10:00 AM to 6:00 AM the following day. On day 2 the Pool Deck stage finally opens up to start off the day, and the atmosphere is absolutely electric. Located on the main deck, it’s the biggest stage, and it’s open-air in some of the nicest festival weather you’ve ever experienced. There’s moshing in the hot tubs, headbanging all around the level, and inflatables buoyed by the passionate crowd. There isn’t a comparable experience to this stage, it alone is worth the admission.

The scheduling works so that there are 2 word-class bands of vastly varying metal sub-genres, from folk metal to black metal, and differing levels of renown, from practically unknowns to genre kingpins, playing at a time across 4 different stages throughout the boat. From largest to smallest there is the Pool Deck, the Main Theater, the Ice Rink, and the Lounge. I will not lie, this occasionally presents some very hard decisions to be made. Luckily, one of the best things about this cruise is that every band plays twice, so a single-time conflict isn’t as dire as it would be at any other festival. One thing you will be pleasantly surprised about is that the sound is great at all 4 stages. The care the organizers put into making each band sound good is very, very welcomed.

In my life, I have never seen so many great artists in a 4-day period of time, several of which I had never heard of before. Part of this is due to the several strategic advantages this ship has over a land-based festival. For one, the distance between stages is absolutely minimal compared to the treks you’ll take across a field. Similarly, the distance to your room is practically an elevator and a short walk away from a stage. So if you need a power nap, a quick cleanse in your shower, or just a break from it all, your fully powered and functional room with a real bed is closer than you could imagine at another festival. There’s also no shame in being one of many who fall asleep around the boat in various places, you’re truly in good company. But fair warning, it’s essentially a sport to snap photos of those who don’t make it back to their room for a nap.   

Outside of the shows, there are so many great adventures to be had. It’s one of the friendliest festivals I’ve attended, and considering the size of the boat, you’re sure to make and continue to run into new friends. The third-day arrival at the cruise destination is what you make of it, you can do anything from catch up on sleep, to go on curated excursions with some of the bands. Even if you don’t attend one of those there’s a pretty good chance you’ll run into several band members, so many of which are great, down-to-earth humans. And I’d be remiss to not mention the karaoke that runs all night long. You get an eclectic mix of great and terrible singers, people who stick to metal, and people who sing the pop “favorites” everyone enjoys after a few too many beverages. No matter what, the crowd is there for you.

All in all, this is a festival like no other. The Original and Biggest Metal Festival at Sea has so many people who have attended every year they can. Every return attendee I met absolutely swore by it. It also has its fair amount of first-timers who are just beaming the whole time despite having about 8 hours of sleep over the four days. It’s truly fitting that they call the people who make it through this festival “Survivors”. With 70000 Tons of Metal rolling out their already incredible line-up for 2025, I know I’ll be getting my cabin booked as soon as I can. If you f*cking love metal and would savor an absolutely immersive experience surrounded by like-minded individuals, you will do the same.