In the latest season of All There Is With Anderson Cooper, Alex Van Halen spoke candidly about the unexpected passing of his brother, Eddie Van Halen, and how it completely caught him off guard.

“None of us really thought he was gonna die,” Alex admitted. “He’d always bounced back. He had the most incredible DNA that I’ve ever seen in anybody. He could do more and more drugs than anybody and still wake up the next day and perform. I don’t think anybody really thought he was gonna die. So when he passed, it was really a shock.”

He continued to reflect on Eddie’s mindset during his final days, saying, “I don’t think he knew [he was dying]. Being human, you think you’re gonna go on one more day, one more day. You keep going forward. But then one day you don’t. So up to the very end, we were still making music and we talked about, what are we gonna do next year? But it was clear that he was going downhill.”

The drummer revealed that he is still grappling with his grief, often becoming emotional when hearing Eddie’s music. “I am grieving all the time,” Alex confessed.

Eddie Van Halen passed away on October 6, 2020, after a long battle with cancer. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Alex’s time with his brother during his final months was limited, but he was with Eddie when he passed. “He had a massive stroke. We were in the room with him when he actually took his last breath,” Alex recalled. “We just sat there. Everybody was in their own headspace.”

Alex’s memoir, Brothers, has been described as a tribute to Eddie. The book, which was released in late October, offers an intimate look into their bond as brothers and the deep loss Alex continues to feel.